The Light beyond the Horizon

C-O-B

I wonder what they think of me, think of the life i bear in this room. Closed door, closed heart, closed soul. What I mean to myself is no more with what I had set out to be. I am a desert, deserted. My days are letters I wrote and forgot to post. My eyes are now in love with salinity. I drink my life to insanity. I am not love, I am not hate. I am all, all that is abstract, amorphous, lacklustre. I have no dreams, no nightmares, no sleep. I chose forever to live this life, where I die a thousand deaths everyday, I die a pauper everyday.
There are none who will lend me a shoulder, how then will I die? I am autumn.
I am diseased, no penicillin for it.
This is the grandeur of my aridity. I still am a princess.